Karen or Just Broke? After Wearing Mask of That Mesh Stuff They Wrap Pears In, the Jury Is Still Out on Lana Del Rey

Everyone’s favorite problematic queen might be suffering from some financial problems of her own. After meeting fans sporting a thrifty face-covering, which appears to be made of a pear wrap straight from the Whole Foods dumpster, Hollywood elites and A-listers slammed Del Rey for “putting lives in danger,” and “spreading mis-information about COVID-19.”

But if they took the time to really unpack the questionable choices Del Rey has made in the past few months, from insinuating that other female pop artists are only able to talk about sex because of her, as well as the aforementioned up-cycling incident, they would see that Del Rey is not just subtly racist and a thorn in the side of the CDC, but a victim of the vicious greed of the music industry.

You heard that right: now that her Lolita-reading fans have come of age and Phoebe Bridgers has come to power as the reigning sad girl queen of the early 2020s, Lana del Rey is out. To make ends meet, she’s had to get crafty. As we at Speople know, the best way to regain your relevance, and thus your wealth, is to tear down someone else, which is exactly what Lana the underdog did. The only logical thing to do was to tear down Beyoncé, and hope that this redistributes some of Queen Bey’s affluence to Lowly Lana. Share the love, right?

And to everyone who claims that they’re eco-friendly but has a problem with Lana’s mask, shame on you. You’re cool with thrift-shop revamps but not a member of the working class using trash to protect herself? Puppet of the bourgeoisie.

So think twice before commenting “Live Laugh Love” on Del Rey’s instagram right now. If she laughs, that shit is going right through the mask.