Royals

The Royals Exclusive! Sterk’s Twitter Burner Accounts Found

The 20th president of Emory University has been caught operating not one, but THREE burner Twitter accounts!

Student Stranded in Breakout Room Alone Opens Up About Her Breakout Breakdown

“I still remember ‘Breakout Room 7’ pasted on the screen. I hit that blue button to join, unknowingly sealing my fate.”

College Republicans: They’re Just Like Us!

Number 4 will shock you!

10 Hottest Athletes Who I Want to Let Me Play With Their Balls

Number 7 will change. your. life.

Letter from Emory Student who tried ordering a textbook on Wayfair

“I just wanted to let you know that even though this is not what I ordered and I do not have a textbook for my class, I will still be keeping the product.”

Zoom Bingo

Freshman Attempts to Get COVID to Show Big-10 Friend How Much Fun They’re Having

Cameron’s pediatrician, Dr. Mauci noted the time Cameron begged her to give him mono during the peak of the outbreak at his high school. ‘“Yeah, he said something about needing mono to prove to everyone that he ‘gets kissed by girls.’”

Fenves Sues SPEOPLE Over Sexiest SPerson Alive Snub

“If its editors held even a scrap of the intelligence held by a common gnat, or Kappa Sig brother, though that may be too harsh to common gnats, SPEOPLE would have selected my client, Gregory L. Fenves,” Emory Whig idol and Fenves’ attorney said.

Theater Emory Saddled With Setbacks in Equus Production

On stage, the audience can sense a very potent bond between male lead Alan and his horse Nugget, experiencing an atmosphere of discomfort and dumbfounded confusion as they watch a shirtless man ride on the shoulders of a dominatrix in a horse mask.

UH OH TREND ALERT!

The most significant fashion statement since “I don’t really care do you?”

Trend Alert: Wearing Other College’s Apparel on Campus

Whether it’s Harvard, Yale, or a public high school in the suburbs of Chicago, there’s one school whose name you won’t be seeing on students’ chests on campus.

Provost Jan Love Is SPEOPLE’s Sexiest SPerson Alive

After an extremely competitive voting process, Provost Love beat out Emory University celebrities such as President Gregory “Daddy” Fenves, that one Kaldi’s barista, and the cats on Cox Bridge for this illustrious title.